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only peace.



Thursday, April 30, 2009

Bye.
10:14 PM



Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dear Diary,

Today the Other asked me if I needed alimony. What does he think?!
Of course I walked away.

I will raise my seven loves with my own bare hands if need be.
I don't need him, and never will.

--excerpt from the diary of The Seventeen-year-old Divorcee
10:34 PM



Sunday, April 26, 2009

This young divorcee and mother of seven, whose letters I've been posting up lately, is a figure of pure courage and love. And to think she's just our age, just seventeen.
10:47 PM




My Dear Children,

It's times like these that really test our ability to stand together. When I get down and depressed, when we don't agree, when the Other attacks, etc.

We must stand together against him.

Your Ever-loving Mother
10:43 PM




GCE A LEVELS
H2 Literature
Paper 5: Literature and Identity

FAIL.
8:11 PM




People asking to understand my blog are nothing new. Then, there are those who question as to why I blog in such code that no one understands but me.
"Why blog for no one?"

FYI, I never blog for no one. Depending on how you define me, there are many "me"s, alternating and differentiating points of view in writ and read.

Self-inflicted Split-personality Disorder. What else can I say?

I don't exactly like this.
Save me.
8:06 PM




Bubbling silent screams through mouthfuls of bathwater,
till I throw up tears.

And you say the old me would have liked the Jonas Brothers,
not Flyleaf/Paramore/MCR.
8:03 PM



Friday, April 24, 2009

--Angst removed, unfortunately and reluctantly--
10:11 PM



Thursday, April 23, 2009

My dear children,

It moved me so much to see you put in your best for this family, even after you said you were very tired and exhausted.

Again, I say - hold each other's hands now and never let go.

Mama loves you.

Your Ever-loving Mother
10:45 PM




A mother's instinct and love.
10:44 PM




Cold is so unfathomable sometimes, and not to be liked by most.

Talked through my issue with being "cold", and got some good ideas and comfort out of it.
Gotta buy Ninja cheeseburger.

Still, I can't help but think back to someone's blog post and seeing all the eerie similarities and believing with all my heart that I'm at complete fault. And no, I don't think I'm just paranoid.

Girl, I'm still here.
10:43 PM




Happy 23rd day of the month to you, Edward Cullen.
I've found Jacob Black.

Six months; what do I feel?
12:07 AM



Wednesday, April 22, 2009

You. Kena. Owned.

I shoot, you fall.
12:07 AM



Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Court
hereby awards
Custody of All Seven Children
to their Mother
11:51 PM




My Dear Children,

Tears prick my eyes as I write this; tears of love, happiness and relief - no, no misery at all.

I am well aware of the stigma you face in this world – spurned children of a doomed marriage, destined to follow the same path. And I’m infinitely comforted to know that you have been rebuking such cruel bullying and standing by what is right. The fact that each of you has so many siblings – six, to be exact – plays in your favour rather than against it, for always remember the strength preserved and shining in unity. Hold each other’s hands now – and never let go.

A very long and messy divorce I have come out of, and nothing makes those tears flow again more than the fact that I have custody of all of you. From two parents to one, one sibling to six, my love for each of you has not dampened, but instead risen to soaring multitude. I’m determined to shelter every seven of you under my wings, and protect you from the Other; he that does not get to you cannot hurt you.

Right now, I ask, above all else, your understanding, patience, help and hope in my building of a new home for all of us. Older ones, guide the small; younger ones, bring us spirit. A long journey we have ahead, but one that will bear good fruit.

Understand this in your heart: my love for you grows everyday.

Your Ever-loving Mother
11:50 PM




A Very Long Divorce
10:57 PM




Aleina says, "The repression of the initially strong-minded Desdemona eventually led to her downfall and murder."

Screaming, "discuss".
10:30 PM




1. "You're gonna be late. For?"
(Ohmygoose you're going. Shit.)
2. "You need to shower?!"

I'm amazed by the amount of baths you take.
See, this is why there's global warming.
Let's see how you survive in the army. I hear they don't bathe for up to a week.
10:16 PM




在这里你只不过是个小不点,不守规则就给我 out!
10:16 PM



Friday, April 10, 2009

FAELLEN is plotting a beetle's path on a music staff to write your Lullaby.
11:26 PM




Sometimes I lie so well, I believe myself.
3:35 PM




I'm not telling you, but I want to do this on my own.
Even if I can't, I'm not making way for you.

Don't tell me what to do;
I don't care if you "win";
This is mine;
Stop wasting my life.

I'm Fire.
3:25 PM




On the brighter side, FIVE all got the same PW grade :D
Are we awesome or are we awesome? :D
3:16 PM



Thursday, April 9, 2009

Nickelback, Kerli, Aleina, My Chemical Romance, Kelly Clarkson and
Flyleaf understand me.
11:54 PM




In sharp revolt
The girl swallowed her anger;
Bang.

In dense struggle
The girl swallowed her stress;
Walk.

In quick thinking
The girl swallowed the fire;
Run.

In enigmatic smile
The girl swallowed her prize;
Fly.

In triumphant gaze
The girl swallowed the sky;
Breathe.
11:53 PM




You try your hardest to perfect your explanations;
You lie until they've run out of questions.

You can only move as fast as
Who's in front of you
And if you assume
Just like them
What good will it do
So find out for yourself
So your ignorance
Will stop bleeding through

Only one thing
Big enough to fill the void that's inside of you
It's just a breath away
You can breathe today

So many lies swirling
All around you
You're suffocating
The empty shape in you
Steals your breath
You're suffocating

Logic forces me to believe in this
And I have learned to see
And I can only say what I've seen and heard
And only you can choose
And every choice you make will effect you
Suit your own self

You can breathe today

So many lies swirling
All around you
You're suffocating
The empty shape in you
Steals your breath
You're suffocating

Breathe today.

Breathe Today
Flyleaf
11:33 PM



Tuesday, April 7, 2009

With a bang of shit I realised it's been six whole months already.
What's it with me and anniversaries, anyway?
I find any reason under the sun to commemorate anything under the sun.

Six months ago, did I know, did I think of today, six months on?
Six months ago, drugged under a spell, unable to think straight, walk right.

Six months ago, a bus stop.
Eight months ago, a bus stop.

Memory of a half year, melancholy sets in.
Memory of a next half year, determination triumphs.

Time flies;
Oh God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love.
8:43 PM



Monday, April 6, 2009

Michelle BFF's card arrived! Thank you BFF :D :D
11:54 PM




You finally wished me :)

I was just a little down the whole day because you hadn't wished me,
and then God said, "Maybe it'll be the last one of the day?"

And your SMS came in, the last of Sunday's.

:D
11:39 PM




Thank you all who wished me! My eighteenth just keeps getting better.

SMS
Hui Shan
Hon Ding

Thank you Rachel for that lovely cake! Which I ate and then realised I hadn't take a photo of it.
11:35 PM




Saturday night I went to bed with the air-con on, which is a luxury since that energy-guzzler is hardly allowed alive. 10 hours of cool blissful air and delicious sleep.

The next morning, I got out of bed, Mei opened the door, let hot air in and shouted "Happy Birthday!"

See, special post for you, special Mei :D :D
11:31 PM



Sunday, April 5, 2009

Thank you all who wished me! My eighteenth just keeps getting better.

SMS
Xuan Xuan
Camy
Honey Jialing
Haoyi, who was super funny.
Sut Sia
Denise
Jessica
Wei Li, who was HILARIOUS.
Dear Rachel
Chun Leong, who was inspirational.
Hannah
BFF Michelle
Best Friend Zilin
Baby Cub Crys
Sarah
Tiak
Yip Shimin
Rachel
Ma, who was standing next to me! =.=
Li Min
Joel VP
*** :D

FB
Simin
Damien
Sean
Teo Shimin
Dong Ying
Audrey


I'm still waiting for you to wish me...
no more! (:
9:13 PM




I'm Eighteen with a capital E!

I started out not feeling seventeen, but now I feel a bit eighteen. Maybe because it's the realisation that I'm more "legal" than ever before. :P

My first wine! Very unglamly bought from NTUC Fairprice with no knowledge of bubbly whatsoever, but I don't care.

Fortant Merlot from France :D :D
Too bad they didn't ask for proof-of-age, or it would have been even more memorable.

Gonna keep this baby for at least three years, till I'm 21.
8:55 PM



Saturday, April 4, 2009

OMG the best birthday party of my life (so far)!

Thanksthanksthanks to the awesome four of our Famous Five who gave me the first and best surprise party I ever had! If you're wondering, yes I did cry, I was so touched (: (: But not a lot of tears, so not so noticeable.

They were hiding on the staircase. Next time I know, surprise party must hide on staircase. :D

My facial expression was priceless, as they say. Too bad you didn't get a photo! :P

FIVE dinners are always so awesome and high! We had good food and cake. Thanks Michelle for the Tiramisu! But the tiramisu was weird, no coffee.

I LOVE MICHELLE, WEILI, KING AND YU TING!


Waiting for shrapnel. LOL!
12:24 AM




It's going to be an awesome 18th. :D
12:18 AM



Thursday, April 2, 2009

That joke is so not funny! It nearly made me cry! :'(

Looks like a late April Fool's Day is very possible.
6:36 PM


writer.

張寧 Chiang Lin
new

speak.




angels.

mei
ziyang
michelle c.
rachel
weili
joolee
joolee's echos
joel f.
yongshan
jiangwei
audrey
cindy
tiak hui
haoyi
jessica
huiyu
denise
clare
guanlin
sean
yinxiu
wanzhen
huiru
valerie
xinying
PHSdancesociety
millie
S.A.L.T.
Johari Window
The Braidery & Co.
Gifts from the Heart
repeal377a

past.

November 2005 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009

thanks.

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Base Codes: che ryl
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